'I knew it was never going to be easy'
Patrick Chan is nearing the finish line of his much decorated figure skating career, and the current Stars On Ice tour is bringing up all the feels for the Canadian skating star.
Patrick Chan can feel the finish line rushing ever closer, and maybe that’s why his voice belies a different kind of rush — a rush of conflicting emotions as he ponders what a life in skating has meant to him, and what a life without that time on the ice in front of adoring audiences might be like.
You can sense that emotion in his voice, even on a phone call, as he discusses what will be his final year with Stars on Ice, a skating troupe he’s been a part of since 2013. A tight-knit family that spends four or five weeks each spring enjoying each other’s company in many fun ways, and sharing that joy with Canadian audiences from coast to coast.
While the show will go on next year and the year after that, Chan won’t be a part of the nightly magic. Real life matters more to him now, and you sense pretty quickly that’s what this decision was all about.
“It’s definitely a bit of a rollercoaster. It’s a tour definitely mixed with some reflection of previous tours and how I remember it,” the 33-year-old Chan says on a day off from Toronto, before the SOI cast headed off to Regina for a show on Thursday night. “I saw Scott (Moir) in London, he came to the show … just hugging him and talking with him, I got really emotional for some reason. It brought back a flood of memories of what it was like touring with Scott and what that meant to me. And the memories we made and the things I learned, the stupid things we did … just everything came rushing back.
“We went through the juniors together and all the way to the top. I have moments like that where I just reflect and reminisce a lot on how things used to be. But at the same time, I miss my family, I miss my wife (former pairs skater Elizabeth Putnam), I miss (his son) Oliver a lot … I think I’m stepping away at the right time, considering where I am in my life and how hard being away from my son for four weeks has been already. I knew it was never going to be easy; these types of decisions are always tough.”
Chan was thrilled to be part of SOI a year ago, when beloved Canadian skating legend Kurt Browning took his final bows. It reignited a passion for skating, and doing the tour again this year seemed like a no-brainer. Until the work started, that is, and he began to wonder how skating might fit around a family that will soon include another son (Putnam is due on June 15).
That’s when a difficult decision had to be made, one he revealed to fans in an Instagram video shortly before the Stars On Ice cast headed to Halifax for its traditional starting point of the tour at Scotiabank Centre.
“When we starting preparing back in January, Liz and I started skating a couple of times a week and then we started choreographing in March. It was really apparent how much harder it was than even last year. Between balancing my work, Liz’s choreography work that she has to do for herself, and then finding a babysitter for our son … just to get one hour of ice, it was a big undertaking,” he said. “It was very much the week or two before I left for Halifax when we looked at each other and said ‘yeah, this is going to be even harder next year with another boy.’ So it was like, why hesitate? The tour is not what it used to be, but if I can make just a quick announcement, even though it’s last minute, maybe it’ll boost a bit some of the ticket sales and some interest. So those are all the things I kind of thought about.”
Chan and Moir, along with ice dance partner Tessa Virtue — they of the two Olympic gold medals — were the headliners of a “golden generation” of Canadian skating, one that produced an historic gold medal in the Team Event at the 2018 Winter Games in PyeongChang, South Korea. It was a team that featured World champions in all four disciplines — Kaetlyn Osmond would earn that particular title a month after the Olympics — and one that carried on together into the touring world as well. But Chan is the last of the Mohicans, so to speak, the only left on the ice from that generation.
Yeah, he’s noticed that. Can’t help but see it. And much as he’s enjoying his time with the current cast, it’s another sign to him that it’s time to move on.
“You know, this cast has changed a lot. It’s been a changing of the guard. I’m the only one left from back when Scott and Tessa were doing tours, and Eric (Radford) and Meagan (Duhamel) … I’m really the only one left. I do feel that. It is a pretty stark reminder every show,” he said. “It’s not such the case now, because everyone is still competing and everyone is younger. I connect the best with Deanna (Stellato-Dudek, the ageless 40-year-old who just won a World pairs title with Maxime Deschamps), actually, because I can just relate to her — we’re in similar places in our lives, and share a similar perspective.”
In some ways, it’s a little difficult to wrap your head around the idea that Chan has been a part of the Canadian scene for more than two decades. His storybook includes a Canadian pre-novice title in 2003, a novice crown a year later, then being junior national champion the year after that. He made his senior debut in 2006 in Ottawa, the city where he was born and got his first skating lesson from another World champion, Donald Jackson. Two years later in Vancouver, he climbed onto the top of the senior podium — the first of an unprecedented 10 national titles, a streak interrupted only by the 2014-15 season, when he took a year off from competition.
That break followed the 2014 Olympic Winter Games in Sochi, Russia, when Chan arrived as a three-time World champion favoured for gold, but had to settle for silver behind the great Japanese champion, Yuzuru Hanyu. If Chan might have any regrets about his skating career, you’d think that would be the one, that he missed his best chance for Olympic gold (something no Canadian man has ever won. Incredible when you think about the lineage of men’s skating in this country).
But time has eased whatever sting he might have felt in that moment, and has allowed Chan a different perspective on what skating has done for him. And how grateful he is for all of it, the ups and downs that helped shape who he is today.
“It taught me the hard work, the dedication, putting your mind to something and finishing it and all that. Most importantly, it taught me how to be a professional, how to carry myself and hold myself to a certain standard. Being around other champions from multiple generations —you’re talking Elvis (Stojko), Kurt, also Scott and Tessa —they were all such successful individuals, but also different,” he said. “But at the end of the day, when it comes to being professional and showing up and doing your job correctly, we held ourselves to that standard. And then being a good person. Knowing when to have fun, when to be serious. And also, how to get through the struggles, how to figure things out when things aren’t clicking at 100 per cent.
“Near the end of my career, it was about being at peace with what I accomplished. That was a big thing for me. I think it’s very common for a lot of highly competitive athletes to never be satisfied. Being in my 30s, that’s kind of where the script had switched and now just appreciating how hard it was to accomplish what I did. A silver instead of a gold doesn’t really make a difference in the grand scheme of things.”
And yes, he does mean that 2014 Olympic gold there. But also lot more.
“Honestly, I’m referring to that, but also even some coaching choices and the way I probably acted very selfishly sometimes as a competitor. Didn’t treat my coaches the best, didn’t treat my friends the best,” he said. “It’s the medal and more. It’s a lot of things that you naturally reflect on and regret and wish you did differently. So that’s humbled me a lot. Just keeping a perspective of instead of just reacting, maybe taking a second to absorb what’s happening and making the right decision.
“I didn’t get to go to university, I didn’t have that key development time (in my life). Scott was my guy, and all these other cast members. Andrew Poje and Eric Radford … all these skaters were more than just my teammates, they were my life and my social circle. It does feel like it’s all coming to an end and it’s weird that Stars is kind of marking that last chapter.”
There’s clearly some maturity in all of that, and it’s what makes a man with a job he enjoys, and a wife and family he cherishes greatly, make the decision that yes, all of that is more important than the sport and the life that has given himself so much joy and memories that he’ll carry with him always.
Ah, yes, those memories. He’s had more than a few. Ask Chan about them, and his mind quickly points toward Halifax, where Stars On Ice launches every year, and whatever disappointment you might carry from the competitive season gets washed away for a month or so.
“For me, Halifax always stands out. I always have really fond memories of Halifax, because it would be the end of the season, the weather was changing, and I’d sit by the harbour in Halifax and reflect on the season. And then I’d get really excited about seeing my friends and developing a show together,” he said. “Spending hours together on the ice, but also goofing around and finding that good balance of work and fun. Halifax was just such a great city to start in. And there were the bus rides and traditions that I try to keep going and pass onto the next generation, but I’m finding it harder to (do that). I’m not Scott. I realized that pretty quick.”
It shouldn’t surprise anyone that the tour that followed the Winter Games of PyeongChang — when the Canadian dream team performed before full houses across the country in a celebratory Stars On Ice tour that played out like a joyous victory lap — stands tall in Chan’s memory bank.
“I never thought I would live to experience a sliver of what the golden era of Stars On Ice was like. That was a little peek into it, I think. Scotiabank Arena (in Toronto) sold out to the third level. I never would have imagined that,” he said. “It’s something that we as figure skaters rarely experience now. I remember that, I remember seeing everyone’s cellphone lights on all the way to the top. And that was not just Toronto, right? It was Vancouver, Montreal … it was throughout that whole tour.”
There are a few more nights of memories sure to come. The tour hits Calgary (tonight) and Edmonton (Saturday) this weekend, then next up on Monday is Vancouver — the city he now calls home. Indeed, it is a show that will carry special resonance for him. He felt a bit of that in Toronto, where he grew up and where his parents Lewis and Karen still live (they saw him skate at that show and another in St. Catharines, Ontario, a few days later).
“I have my co-workers coming, I have family and friends … I’m glad I’ll have 10 shows under my belt before that one because I’ll want to skate well, I’ll want to perform well for my friends. That makes it really exciting,” he said. “Toronto used to be like that. I skated well in Toronto (last) Friday and the crowd gave me a standing ovation. That was a really epic moment, finishing my second number, Send in the Clowns, to a really, really warm Toronto crowd. I just felt this connection of, oh, right, this is where I’m from, this is where I grew up. I could just sense that through the audience.”
Next Thursday, the tour will come to an end at the Save-On-Foods Memorial Centre in Victoria, and that will be it. Chan will take his skates off one last time, and a lifetime of performing and entertaining audiences will reach its conclusion. Chan isn’t sure how he’ll feel about that moment, and in all honesty, he’d rather not think about it. At least not just yet.
“I haven’t thought about it. Whether it’s my last tour or not, (the final show) always hard. Going through a certain mode of operation for four weeks and that ending abruptly after four weeks, then going back to changing diapers or going to work,” he said. “There’s a big contrast and I struggled with that, a week of feeling emotionally drained. I’m a little concerned about how it is going to hit me. Honestly, it’s probably a blessing that our second son is arriving shortly after, and I won’t really have time to dwell on the tour and on the past. And I love my work. I really love where I am and I look forward to going to work. There’s a lot of other things I look forward to, despite this looming day.”
Not that skating will ever be completely out of his blood. Chan loved the opportunity to serve as an athlete ambassador at the 2024 World Championships in Montreal, and the chance to introduce his son to the world in which he once thrived (truth be told, he said, Oliver was intrigued and amused by the Zambonis most of all). He caught up with some people in skating he hadn’t seen in years, and admits to being wowed by the golden performance of American teen Ilia Malinin (who is on the current tour).
He also knows that skating gave him so much in his life, and he has a grand opportunity to pay it forward with a younger generation. He’s more than happy to do that whenever he’s asked.
“I’ll never say no to a seminar. Liz and I get to do those together and we find those really fun. We’ve done so many together, and it’s such a great way to stay involved in the sport. It’s kind of nice, you’re like the funcle (fun uncle) and you get to have fun with the kids. There’s a lot less expectation, everyone is really happy and positive as opposed to coaching, where things can get tough sometimes and you have to deal with the other parts of coaching,” he said. “I love skating, and the last two years with Stars really solidified how important skating is in my life. For a second there, I wanted to remove it completely from my life and walk away. But I don’t want that anymore. I want to be a mentor in some way.
“Before we went away for tour, we met with a little boy who skates at a rink across from our place. We ran into the parents, and he’s 10 and growing out of his club. So many questions to us about where to go next and what are the next steps. We had coffee with them and talked about skating and what he wants, and where we think is probably the best place to go. So just helping and passing our wisdom along to other families for their kids, and reminding them of what they’re signing up for and what it takes, the sacrifice, so that it all doesn’t come as a surprise. I’ll always have a direct line to Skate Canada, to Debra (Armstrong, the CEO) and Mike (Slipchuk, the high performance director). If I can help the team in any way, I’m always available. I feel like the others on the old team would be, too.”